27 Dec Make feeling good your priority for 2019
When we prioritise self-care and wellbeing practices we feel good. When we feel good we have better connections with others, better ideas about problems and we are more productive. We also just feel better emotionally; life feels easier and clearer.
When we talk about self-care and wellbeing we are of course talking about exercise, healthy eating, plenty of sleep, and time out for holidays and relaxation. But more importantly, we are talking about how we talk to ourselves and the beliefs and stories we hold.
Self-care is about having the tools to work out why we might be feeling down or frustrated or withdrawn or angry. Self-care is about having the tools to recognise that when we are feeling this way it can be about external situations or people, but it is also often about the stories and beliefs we’re holding about ourselves. Self-care is about articulating those stories, and then finding new and more positive perspectives.
For example, you might be feeling bad about a conversation or interaction you had with someone over Christmas, you might be playing the conversation over in your mind, you might be justifying why you said what you did. But the feeling of heaviness doesn’t go away, it just sits there like a lump of rock in your stomach. Identifying the story here might go something like this – ‘When I speak to this particular person I struggle to understand their point of view, and so I find myself becoming sharp and blunt in my responses, if I look a little deeper into it I have a belief that I am a bad person because I am not always kind to this particular person, I have a ‘gremlin’ that says I am a bad human because I said this and this.’ These kinds of stories often sit just below the surface for us, they fester and make us feel bad.
Once we get a hold of the story however, and find the words to work out what our story is, it is easier then to change the story. In this example, the changed story could be ‘yes there is a tiny truth in the fact that I am a bit short with that person, but it comes from a place of wanting to be kind but also wanting to be heard myself. I am a kind and thoughtful person. AND, we are all messy humans; all of our intentions come from a place of wanting to feel good.’
It can take some excavation to work out the stories. Personally I like to go on walks and talk out loud to myself (yes it does look a bit strange!) and eventually I get to the bottom of what’s going on for me.
Self-care and wellbeing is all about having the tools and techniques to process through the stories we hold about ourselves that make us feel less than good, and then finding new beliefs about ourselves and the situations we are in.
So if you want a 2019 filled with good feelings please start to look at your stories. Once you have the tools to quickly work out your stories you will have better connections with others, feel more energised, be more productive, have greater more expansive ideas and feel like anything is possible.
The human experience can sometimes feel really complex but when we have the tools to empower ourselves on the inside we can make things so much easier for ourselves.
If you would like to talk more about how we can share these ideas with your team, or with you as an individual please get in touch. The Bird story for 2019 is that we are going to work with 20 incredible not-for-profit organisations who really understand and value self-care for their staff.
To explore whether your organisation and Bird might be a good match get in touch.
With love, Hannah