What’s behind identity?

What’s behind identity?

From the moment we are born, layers of identity are placed upon us.

Girl, daughter, sister, Brit, northerner…

As we grow we begin to develop additional narratives about ourselves, we choose which identities we adopt.

Partner, friend, female entrepreneur, runner, green leftie, aunty, traveller, coach, facilitator, Brightonian…

We tend to place a lot of emphasis on our identities. We spend our lives trying to be the ‘best’ friend, partner, mother, carer, leader…

Spending our energy trying to be the best in this way is a one-way ticket to burn out.

The real role of identities, is to connect with other people. Identities are like bridges, across which we find common ground with those around us. I connect with you because we are both from Brighton, I connect with you because we both like to travel to different places, I connect with you because you know what it’s like to be an aunty.

They are a starting point, a door to walk through in order to begin to see and be seen.

We spend so much energy on building up our identities, and not enough energy on nurturing who we are at our core. What’s the point in opening up the doorway to connection if we haven’t spent the time loving ourselves and celebrating ourselves and championing ourselves, ready to share all our gifts and emotions and vulnerability with others?

When we use identity as the bridge, and we’ve nurtured and nourished our internal consciousness, we can start to truly meet each other in the purest sense.

And that’s what the world needs right now. It needs a way for us all to see that we are the same, we are not our identities, our labels, we are all just human. Beautiful, emotional, and human.

With love, Hannah

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